Rajinikanth Jokes

April 3rd, 2011 · 7 Comments · Movies

There have been jokes about Rajinikanth in the past, which I have seen in many emails.

The one I got last night while watching the India – Sri Lanka World Cup finals about Rajinikanth was the best of it all.

Why was Rajinikanth so chill during the Cricket World Cup finals??? He has already watched this match in his dreams last night, today he was just watching the highlights.


I could not help laughing and I thought it might be a good idea to compile all the jokes I have received in the past by emails and post it here.

Please keep in mind that I am one of the most loyal fans of Rajinikanth and I agree with every single comment here, as long as we all agree that it is about Rajinikanth the actor and not Rajinikanth the human being. My belief is as a human being, none of us can come close to the simple and humble life style that Rajinikanth has.

With that disclaimer :-), here are all the jokes I am aware of about Rajinikanth. Hope you enjoying each one of them, as much as I enjoyed compiling them.  Also let me know if you know of any Rajinikanth joke that I missed.

Dont forget to let me know which one is your favourite. As mentioned about the Cricket World Cup one is my favourite of them all.

  1. Why was Rajinikanth so chill during the Cricket World Cup finals??? He has already watched this match in his dreams last night, today he was just watching the highlights.
  2. Rajinikanth’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajinikanth.
  3. Some magicans can walk on water, Rajinikanth can swim through land
  4. Words like awesomeness, brilliance, legendary etc. were added to the dictionary in the year 1949. That was the year Rajinikanth was born.
  5. When you say “no one is perfect”, Rajinikanth takes this as a personal insult.
  6. Rajinikanth leaves messages before the beep.
  7. Rajinikanth gave the Joker those scars.
  8. Rajinikanth kills two stones with one bird.
  9. Rajinikanth got his drivers license at the age of 16 seconds.
  10. Rajinikanth doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
  11. Rajinikanth once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
  12. Rajinikanth is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
  13. Rajinikanth once had a heart attack. His heart lost.
  14. Rajinikanth got small pox when he was a kid. As a result small pox is now eradicated.
  15. Rajinikanth doesn’t move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed of Rajinikanth.
  16. Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that’s why there are no signs of life there.
  17. Rajinikanth doesn’t breathe. Air hides in his lungs for protection.
  18. Rajinikanth did in fact, build Rome in a day.
  19. Rajinikanth can watch the show of 60 minutes in 20 minutes.
  20. Rajinikanth can make onions cry.
  21. Rajinikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.
  22. Rajinikanth can build a snowman out of rain.
  23. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajinikanth kicked one of the corners off.
  24. Rajinikanth can win at Solitaire with only 18 cards.
  25. Rajinikanth once ordered a plate of idli in McDonald’s, and got it.
  26. Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes.
  27. Rajinikanth once got into a fight with a VCR player. Now it plays DVDs.
  28. Rajinikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.
  29. Rajinikanth can drown a fish.
  30. Rajinikanth can judge a book by it’s cover.
  31. Rajinikanth gave Mona Lisa that smile.
  32. Rajinikanth grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
  33. Chuck Norris once met Rajinikanth. The result – He was reduced to a joke on the internet.
  34. Rajinikanth can speak Braille
  35. Rajinikanth can handle the truth.
  36. Rajinikanth goes to court and sentences the judge.
  37. Rajinikant can give pain to Painkillers and headache to Anacin.
  38. Rajinikanth killed Spiderman using Baygon Anti Bug Spray.
  39. Water boils faster when Rajinikanth stares at it.
  40. Rajinikanth does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.
  41. Rajinikanth kills Harry Potter in the eighth book.
  42. Rajinikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear.
  43. Rajinikanth can play the violin with a piano.
  44. Rajinikanth once got into a knife-fight. The knife lost.
  45. Archaeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered Rajinikanth”.
  46. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajinikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.
  47. The oceans are filled with tears of Rajnikanth’s victims.
  48. In a wild argument, Rajinikanth showed middle finger to his girl friend, and she got pregnant !!!
  49. When Rajinikanth is asked to kill some one he doesn’t know, he shoots the bullet and directs it the day he finds out.
  50. Rajinikanth killed the Dead Sea.
  51. Rajinikanth ate the bite from the apple logo.
  52. Rajinikanth can divide by zero.
  53. When Rajinikanth gives you the finger, he is telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
  54. Rajinikanth destroyed the periodic table because Rajinikanth only recognizes the element of surprise.
  55. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Rajinikanth.
  56. There is no such thing as global warming. Rajinikanth was cold, so he turned the sun up.
  57. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 % of germs.
  58. Rajinikanth can kill 100 % of anything.
  59. Rajinikanth was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around and waiting for the wheel to stop.
  60. If you spell Rajinikanth wrong on Google, it does not say “Did you mean Rajinikanth”, it simply says “Run while you still have the chance.”
    Only Rajinikanth can make wind visible.
  61. Ghosts are actually caused by Rajinikanth killing people faster than death can process them.
  62. There is no such thing as evolution, its just a list of creatures that Rajinikanth allowed to live.
  63. Rajinikanth does not need a visa to travel anywhere, he just jumps from the tallest building in Chennai and holds himself in the air while the earth rotates.
  64. Rajinikanth can cut diamond with his finger.
  65. Whales live in deep oceans, because they know Rajinikanth lives on land.
  66. Rajinikanth knows which came first, the egg or the chicken.
  67. Once a photo of Rajinikanth was given to get it xeroxed, but got two xerox machines.
  68. Rajinikanth does not join Facebook, twitter and orkut. They join Rajinikanth.
  69. One night while sleeping, Rajinikanth was mumbling some random numbers. That was how the log table was invented.
  70. Once Rajinikanth was playing cricket and he hit a six. Now the ball is called Pluto.
  71. Once Rajinikanth participated in a 100 meters race and obvious he won. Light came second.
  72. Once Rajinikanth while playing the game said ‘Statue’ to a lady. Today that statue is called the ‘Statue of Liberty’.
  73. Some one wrote a cheque to Rajinikanth and it bounced. Rajinikanth gave the cheque back and the bank bounced.
  74. Rajinikanth once entered a race he came first, second and third.
  75. Rajinikanth starred at the sun for hours and the sun then blinked.
  76. Rajinikanth does not pay attention – attention pays him.
  77. Once upon a time, a wild boar got in Rajinikanth’s way and was pulled up by his nose and thrown 100 kilometers away. Today, its descendants are called as elephants.
  78. Rajinikanth can answer a missed call.
  79. Rajinikanth made an iPhone 8G for himself.
  80. A handicap parking sign does not signify that the spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning that the spot belongs to Rajinikanth and if you are not handicapped and if you park there, you will be handicapped.
  81. Death once had a near Rajinikanth experience.
  82. East India Company left India in 1947, because Rajinikanth was supposed to be born in 1949.
  83. Rajinikanth knows Victoria’s Secret.
  84. Bullets dodge Rajinikanth
  85. Rajinikanth was offered the lead role in ‘Ghajini’ but he denied because Rajinikanth can only give memory loss.
  86. Even Ghajini remembers Rajinikanth.
  87. Rajinikanth wears sunglasses to protect the sun from his rage.
  88. Rajinikanth can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass at night.
  89. Basketball player: I can spin a basketball on my finger for two hours, can you? Rajinikanth: How do you think the earth rotates?
  90. You will lose the game even if you have “3 Aces” if the opponent has “1 Rajinikanth”
  91. Genies rub Rajinikanth and he grants them three wishes.
  92. Rajinikanth had to make 24 runs in just 1 ball remaining. He hit the ball in such a way that it broke int four pieces and he got four sixers.
  93. How did Paul Octopus die? He was asked to predict Rajinikanth’s death.
  94. Rajinikanth wanted to organise a small show for his family and friends and that is how Commonwealth Games came to India.
  95. Rajinikanth runs until the treadmill gets tired.
  96. There is nothing that Rajini’kant’ do.
  97. Rajinikanth does not need water supply. He can mix hydrogen and oxygen to produce water whenever he wants.
  98. President is Indian citizen number 1. Rajinikanth’s number is 0.
  99. Only Rajinikanth knows Choli Ke Peechhe Kya Hai
  100. Only Rajinikanth knows Kaun Banega Crorepati.
  101. Rajinikanth cannot fly. He just jumps and chooses when to come down.
  102. There is no Ctrl button on Rajinikanth’s pc because Rajinikanth is always in control.
  103. Once God was suprised at something and he exclaimed OMR (Oh My Rajinikanth).
  104. Whenever Rajinikanth makes an error, it is an invention.
  105. Rajinikanth has a deep and abiding respect for human life unless it gets in his way.
  106. Some actors set benchmarks in cinema, Rajinikanth sets deskmarks.
  107. Rajinikanth laughs at you and your silly jokes about him even before you think them up.
  108. Rajinikanth knows the exact value of Pi up to a Googol.
  109. Alfred Noble is nominated for Rajinikanth Award.
  110. Rajinikanth gave permission to Sachin to score those hundreds.
  111. Rajinikanth went for a morning walk. In the afternoon police stopped him, because he reached the USA without visa.
  112. Rajinikanth first takes the gold medal and then starts the race.
  113. Rajinikanth once wrote his autobiography. Today that book his known as ‘Guiness Book of World Records’ and his childhood homework is now called ‘Wikipedia’.
  114. Rajinikanth can write into a Read Only file.
  115. Rajinikanth can squeeze orange juice from a banana.
  116. Rajinikanth irons his pants with those still on.
  117. Rajinikanth and Superman once had arm wrestling competition and the loser had to wear his underwear over his pants.. we all know who won!!
  118. It was even worse for Spiderman. When he lost to Rajinikanth, he had to wear his underwear over his head.
  119. Rajinikanth can make fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.
  120. In the back of the book of world reocrds, it says “All records are held by Rajinikanth. The ones listed here are in second place.”
  121. Rajinikanth can tie his shoes with his feet.
  122. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Rajinikanth out. They did not know that Rajinikanth can walk through walls.
  123. Computer viruses are looking for Anti-Rajinikanth software.
  124. Ghosts have been debating for ages whether Rajinikanth really exists or not. But they are scared anyway.
  125. Every morning Rajinikanth goes for spacewalk.
  126. We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Rajinikanth.
  127. Rajinikanth’s bike has semicircular tyres.
  128. Rajinikanth does not shower. He only takes blood baths.
  129. Rajinikanth does not get frost bite. Rajinikanth bites frost.
  130. Rajinikanth does not write books. Words assemble themselves.
  131. Rajinikanth can send an sms from the landline phone.
  132. Once Rajinikanth was fined by cops for overspeeding at 75 miles per hour zone, while Rajinikanth was walking.
  133. God is not Rajinikanth.
  134. Rajinikanth never tweets, he just roars.
  135. Rajinikanth can run Windows 7 on 64KB memory.
  136. Rajinikanth was born on 30th Feb, since then that date was removed from the calendar so that no one else gets the same birthday.
  137. When Rajinikanth gets angry at the sun, it hides behind the moon. This phenomenon is called Solar Eclipse.
  138. Rajinikanth awards goes to Oscar.
    Computer does not give warning message to Rajinikanth. Rajinikanth warns the computer.
  139. Once spiderman, superman and batman visited Rajinikanth’s house together. It was Teacher’s Day.
  140. Rajinikanth ploughs the field using nothing but his toes.
  141. Rajinikanth was practising for spelling test. The rough sheet he used is known as Oxford Dictionary.
  142. Rajinikanth’s pulse is measured in Ritcher scale.
  143. Rajinikanth saw the Movie ‘Break Ke Baad’, before the break.
  144. Once Rajinikanth shouted at a boy for not wearing a cap in the hot sun. Today that boy is known as Himesh Reshammiya.
  145. Once Rajinikanth after chewing the paan, spit on the wall of a building. Today that building is known as Red Fort.
  146. Sun doesnt rise until Rajinikanth says Good Morning.
  147. When Rajinikanth goes through the immigration, the officers show him their passports.
  148. Only Rajinikanth has 32 wisdom teeth.
  149. The apple which fell on Newton was actually thrown by Rajinikanth.
  150. When Rajinikanth had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
  151. If you want the list of Rajinikanth’s enemies, just check the extincts species list.
  152. Life time warranty does not exist only because of Rajinikanth.
  153. Once Rajinikanth dropped a coin while he was standing in the balcony. He went down to pick it up, but it was not there…hmmmmm…He reached there before the coin.
  154. One of Rajinikanth’s hobby: Swimming on Tsunami
  155. Rajinikanth taught us all..Impossible is nothing
  156. Santa Claus waits for a gift from Rajinikanth every Christmas.
  157. Rajinikanth can make a dog say ‘Meow’.
  158. Rajinikanth can make two parallel lines intersect just by starring at them.
  159. Rajinikanth is the reason why we do not have any other super heroes in India.
  160. Rajinikanth can sneeze with open eyes.
  161. If Rajinikanth’s PC hangs, its time for next windows release.
  162. Rajinikanth is a vegetarian…he doesnt eat animals until he first puts them into vegetative state with his blow.
  163. When Rajinikanth gets depressed, the world faces great depression.
  164. The reason why Shahrukh stuttered in the movie Darr, because he saw Rajinikanth behind Juhi.
  165. Rajinikanth doesnt enjoy animation movies because he can see the gaps between the 24 frames every second.
  166. Rajinikanth can slam a revolving door.
  167. Rajinikanth has counted to infinity twice.
  168. Rajinikanth will attain separate statehood in 2013.
  169. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Rajinikanth lives in Chennai.
  170. Rajinikanth electrocuted Iron Man
  171. Rajinikanth calls Voldermort by his name.
  172. Who do you think taught Voldermort Parseltongue? Rajinikanth did
  173. Rajinikanth can teach an old dog new tricks.
  174. The last time Rajinikanth killed someone, he slapped himself to do it. The other guy just disintegrated. Resonance.
  175. Time and tide wait for Rajinikanth
  176. Rajinikanth knows what women really want
  177. Rajinikanth sneezed once in his entire life, thats when the tsunami occured in the Indian ocean.
  178. As a child when Rajinikanth had dyslexia, he simply rescripted the alphabet.
  179. Rajinikanth collects honey from his private Moon – HoneyMoon.
  180. To be or not to be? Thats the question. The answer? Rajinikanth
  181. The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Rajinikanth’s fist
  182. Where there is a will, there is a way. Where there is Rajinikanth, there is no other way.
  183. Rajinikanth’s every step creates a mini whirlwind. Hurricane Katrina was the result of a morning jog.
  184. Rajinikanth doesn’t bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint out of fear.
  185. Once a cobra bit Rajinikanth’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
  186. Rajinikanth is a champion in the game “Hide n’ seek”, as no one can hide from Rajinikanth.
  187. Rajinikanth proves Newton wrong all the time. Every time he performs an action, he simply eliminates anything and everything that can provide the reaction.
  188. Rajinikanth is a weapon created by God to use on doomsday to end the world.
  189. Aliens do indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Rajinikanth is on.
  190. We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Rajinikanth.
  191. If at first you don’t succeed, you’re not Rajinikanth.
  192. Rajinikanth’s first job was as a bus conductor. There were no survivors.
  193. Rajinikanth does not style his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
  194. When Rajinikanth plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.
  195. Rajinikanth is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
  196. Rajinikanth’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
    The world will not end in 2012, Rajnikanth has bought a computer with a 3 year warranty.
  197. The day ROBOT was released, Rajnikanth gave Times of India a rating of 4 stars
  198. Rajinikanth to buy Facebook, he will be making one change in it, instead of ‘like’ he will put ‘sooper’
  199. Rajinikanth once rolled a dice and scored a 7
  200. Once Dinosaurs borrowed money from Rajnikanth and refused to pay him back.. We all know what happened to the Dinasaurs after that.
  201. When Rajinikanth enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on…. he turns the dark off.
  202. Rajinikanth does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
  203. Rajinikanth don’t have a Twitter account, Because no one can follow him and he’s already following you
  204. Rajinikanth can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
  205. The square root of Rajinikanth is pain. Do not try to square Rajinikanth, the result is death.
  206. If Rajinikanth would have born 100 years back, British would have fought to get independence.
  207. Rajinikanth saved the girl in one hand and titanic in other
  208. Rajinikanth is so hot that the cigarette burns before its lit
  209. Only Rajinikanth can smell what the rock is cooking.
  210. Intel’s new tag line…. RAJINIKANTH INSIDE!
  211. Once Rajinikanth entered bigg boss…The next day announcement was made… Rajinikanth chahte hai ki bigg boss confession room me aaye..
  212. Rajinikanth can cut knife with apple.
  213. Rajinikanth knows who let the dogs out.
  214. Nature answers Rajinikanth’s call.
  215. Rajinikanth bought 2 elephants, 2 camels and 2 horses from the zoo Why? To Play chess!!!!!!
  216. After 20 years, Robots will make a movie called Rajinikanth
  217. When Rajinikant logs on to facebook.com, facebook updates its status message!
  218. CAT is Outdated..Now the students have to prepapre for RAT.. wondering what it is..? Rajinikanth Aptitude Test…

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7 responses so far ↓

  • 1 punith // Apr 11, 2011 at 4:47 am

    superb boss

  • 2 Ram // Apr 19, 2011 at 11:18 am

    RAJINI will HAVE 7 heroines in RANA

    1. Deepika padukone
    2. Anushkha shetty
    3. Sushmita sen
    4. Trisha
    5. Vidya balan
    6. Ileana
    7. Sneha

  • 3 sadanand kotkar // Apr 27, 2011 at 10:12 am

    good

  • 4 VaSu // Apr 30, 2011 at 10:10 am

    hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiii…….!!!!!

  • 5 Sushil // May 5, 2011 at 11:46 am

    Rajnikanth can sneeze with open eyes…

    and he can also make your brain wait for the next sneeze so that you can try whether you can do it too…

    Aren’t ya already waiting :P

  • 6 sanjana // Mar 25, 2012 at 7:22 pm

    rajni said go to hell to a kid one day…. today he is known as yamraj :P

  • 7 Administrator // Mar 26, 2012 at 12:00 am

    Sanjana, that is a good one – quite original! I have seen quite a few Chuck Norris jokes converted to suit Rajinikanth’s style, but this one, we know is not copied from Chuck Norris (or at least without a local translation).

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